One of the biggest frustrations of a parent is getting your young children to eat new things. The sad thing is, even restaurants know what very few items children want to eat, and that's what they offer on the menu. If you're a working parent like myself and their father are, I know how tempting it is to just get fast food and unhealthy items all the time. But making healthy food options for the kids doesn't have to be time consuming.

It's never too late, but tardiness can create more problems later

They say that it's never too late to start. And "they" are right. But building good habits and stepping out of old ones can be so much harder the longer you wait.

Start early. Kids thrive on habits and the later you get them started on eating well, the harder it will be.

It always helps if you are a willing, determined participant to break your bad habits or start new ones. Unfortunately for parents, kids aren't quite so willing. So you're involvement and persistence will be ever more important.

Don't give up on your goals for your children

My step kids came into my life wanting little more than the stereotypical kids' meal. They were frequently given whatever they wanted if they disapproved of what was made for dinner. Or told that they didn't have to finish dinner and could still have dessert. If it wasn't a specific rice, mac and cheese, or the same meals they've eaten their whole life, they were reluctant to try anything else.

We decided to change that and quickly. Not just to expand their palate, but to give them healthier meals, to teach them good manners for dinner.

In your struggles, focus on things you CAN do. Not what you CAN'T do. After all, you can't make them enjoy vegetables right away. But you can get them to eat vegetables. Below I'll guide you through some ways that we made meal time easier and healthier for our kids.

Sneaking good foods into their diet

Some of the things that we did with our little ones may seem a little sneaky, but trust me, it's a great step forward to getting them to eat better. For example:

Breakfast

For breakfast, I'd be the first to admit that I give them cereal or waffles on a school morning. Weekends are different, but for busy school mornings when they are also studying or reading? I always give them a few pieces of fruit next to their bowl of cereal. A small saucer of strawberries or grapes with less than their standard full bowl of cereal. When they ask for more cereal, "finish your fruit and I'll get you more cereal".

Lunch

My youngest child (7 at the moment) loves watermelon. So if I happen to have one already cut up from the weekend, and she wants chips with her sandwich or her burger, I tell her she can have watermelon instead. Think you can't get your little one to do the same? It takes time and persistence. It takes being able to say no and enforce rules and good habits. Stick with it - eventually it will work.

Dinner

When my oldest two kids (now 19 and 16) were small, they refused to eat fish of any type. It happened to be when Finding Nemo was really popular. While you might think to yourself "that's probably why they didn't like fish", the answer I usually got was "I don't like fish" (despite them having never tried it). So I did something unorthodox. I made tilapia one night and told them it was Nemo. For some reason, they loved the idea that they were eating Nemo, and ate it so quickly you would have thought it was their favorite candy.

Now my step kids (whom I often refer to as my little ones). They love spaghetti. So we began to puree vegetables and add it to their spaghetti sauce. We've even gone as far as to make ratatouille on an evening they are staying with a relative, and then pureeing the leftovers and adding it to their spaghetti sauce. Eggplant, tomatoes, squash, all added to their favorite meal. And they didn't know any better.

Chances are your kids love burgers and tacos. So finely chop onions, sautee them, and add to burger patties before they are cooked. Or add onions to tacos and their favorite rice. Make it so finely chopped that they don't notice for a while.

At some point, you'll make the pieces of vegetables a bit bigger. And when they notice, you can tell them: "you've been eating this for weeks and never complained before. It tastes just as good as last time. Go ahead and eat."

For fish though with my little ones, Nemo didn't work. They're much younger and don't have such an attachment to it. So we went with the old tried and true method of "we're eating something new tonight. Go ahead and try it. You can have dessert when you finish."

(In case you think it's always gone swimmingly to say "just eat it, you'll have dessert after"... we had many nights of whining, crying, and complaining about what was given. Fake disgust, comparisons to other adults in their life. Hour-long battles to get them to finish. And yes, it was all worth every single minute of struggling just to get the kids to eat better and new things.

They now love tilapia as well as salmon. My middle school "little one" now orders salmon every time we go to hibachi. He loves it. And he never would have known if we had never insisted he try something new.

Dessert

Limit the number of sweets they have for dinner and have more fruit-filled items, like smoothies with milk, blended fruit, and very little sugar (if at all). Make slices of bananas and strawberries their dessert once in a while.

Try to do dessert right after dinner. One of my biggest food-related pet peeves with children is feeding them a snack right before bed, especially if it's either a sweet or if they already brushed their teeth. Since it's the end of the night, they should be winding down and ready to rest for the night. Providing sugary snacks will only make it harder for them to sleep which has a snowball affect on the following morning.

Don't be afraid to say "no dessert tonight". Kids don't "need dessert" (adults don't either, for that matter). It's ok for kids to learn that they can't always have what they want when they want it. Teach them patience and how to cope in a healthy way with disappointment.

Also, making good habits for hygiene is equally important. We make it a rule and a point to not allow anything other than water once they've brushed their teeth before bed.

School snacks

Avoid chips and sweets for school snacks. Opt for fruit cups and granola bars (even if it's the ones with the chocolate chip cookies in them).

Our personal results

For our kids:

Now they love onions. They are excited about fish like tilapia and salmon. Eating fruit every morning with their breakfast cereal is normal. They never complain about what their snack for school is. And they eat a healthy number of cookies after dinner and never complain or argue to have more.

As an added bonus during our efforts for eating better, they have also developed good manners. They wait patiently for everyone to be seated with a plate before they begin. They say please and thank you to waiters and waitresses when we are out to dinner. And guess what? They are happy, actively engaged during dinner, and are courteous and kind when we go out to dinner. There is no acting out. No arguing. No complaining.

Takeaways

Where are the problem areas for your children with food? Write down all the things they:

• Complain about
• Refuse to try
• Insist on eating

Focus on things you CAN do. Not what you CAN'T do.

Remember, they are depending on you to guide them, to care for them, and to ensure they are learning good habits. Don't give in just to avoid a tantrum. It's a long road, with a lot of battles. Be strong, don't give in. You are the parent, and you make the choices that will guide them down one road or another as they grow up.

Teach them when they are little so that they do well as adults.